On loop...

this one is actually on loop with the one I linked yesterday (i.e. Ca m'enerve...)

Lady Gaga's Poker Face (Album Version).
Enjoy!

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Stuff lesbians like.. the list is endless!

All credit to Grace the Spot!!

I could go on and on .. it's all so true.. outstanding comedy material! The ultimate 411 for lesbians and their straight friends to understad the lady loving ladies! A must read!


Stuff Lesbians Like Part 103: Wife Beaters

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 102: Sports bras

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 101: Efficiency

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 100: Expensive booty calls

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 99: Women’s Studies

Stuff Lesbians Like 98: Weightlifting

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 97: I fisted a girl (and I liked it)

Stuff Lesbians Like Theme from The L Word Season 6 Episode 5: Entourages

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 96: Bette and Tina

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 95: Marking one’s territory

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 94: Nostalgia

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 93: Playing the Androgyny Card

Stuff Lesbians Like Theme from The L Word Season 6 Episode 4: Being Friends With Their Exes

Stuff Lesbians Like Theme from The L Word Season 6 Episode 3: Lesbian Texting Syndrome

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 92: Announcing “I am Switzerland” during a conflict (and failing in that goal)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 91: Moody Tunes

Stuff Lesbians Like Theme from The L Word Season 6 Episode 2: Having inappropriate thoughts about people you’d rather not have inappropriate thoughts about

Stuff Lesbians Like Theme from The L Word Season 6 Episode 1: Entourage Schisms

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 90: “Chi ku” (eating bitterness)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 89: Expertise

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 88: Being surprised that people already knew you were a lesbian before you came out

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 87: Layers

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 86: Board Shorts

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 85: Coffee Shops

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 84: Vacations

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 83: Karaoke

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 82: Damage Control

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 81: Glasses

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 80: Having inappropriate thoughts about people you’d rather not have inappropriate thoughts about

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 79: Building A Mystery

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 78: Lyrics

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 77: Obscure Insults

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 76: Hoodies

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 75: Alice from The Brady Bunch

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 74: BallsStuff Lesbians Like Part 73: Planned Conversations

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 72: War Stories

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 73: Planned Conversations

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 71: “It’s Complicated”

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 70: Flannel 2.0 a/k/a Fleece

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 69 (heh heh): Flirting 101

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 68: Do it yourself project

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 67: Park Slope a/k/a Dyke Slope

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 66: Six Degrees of Ex Separation

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 65: Coming Out Stories

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 64: Going out of their way to prove that they aren’t “humorless lesbians” but ending up being humorless in the process

Stuff Lesbian Like Part 63: Drinking Games

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 62: Girls With Guitars

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 61: Swagger

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 60: Non Sexual Life Partners (”NSLP”)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 59: Picking up lesbian-themed films at Blockbuster for no other reason than the fact that they are lesbian-themed films (and becoming sorely disappointed)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 58: The “is she or isn’t she” game

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 57: Wanting Famous Women To Be Lesbians Even Though We Have No Chance With Them

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 56: Processing 2.0 - Therapy Sessions with Friends

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 55: Jeeps

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 54: Clone Fucking & “Dyke-a-Likes”

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 53: Dating Difficult Girls

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 52: Road Trips

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 51: Chapstick

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 50: American Eagle

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 49: Lesbian Texting Syndrome (”LTS”)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 48: Sudden and Unexpected Amateur Grappling Matches in Public

Stuff Lesbians Like in the News (Sort Of)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 47: Pets!

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 46: Beer Samplers

Stuff Lesbians Like 45: Gay Porn

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 44: Uniforms

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 43: Man Crushes

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 42: Threatening to boycott the Pride Parade due to “X” but eventually showing up for the festivities.

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 41: Being “Boring” While in a Relationship

Stuff Lesbians Like 40: Duct Tape

Stuff Lesbians Like 39: High Fives

Stuff Lesbians Like 38: Being Overly Sensitive Due to an Increased Sense of Political Awareness

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 37: Helping the Cause!

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 36: Spontaneously breaking out into tone-deaf versions of 80s guitar anthems or power ballads

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 35: Racing to be the first to announce gay and lesbian related news to your friends

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 34: Insisting that Non-Lesbian Movies Have Lesbian Subtext

Still in vacation mode, so I direct you to the best thread ever, i.e. Stuff Lesbians Like in action

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 33: Going Out of One’s Way to Not Carry a Purse

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 32: Entourage Schisms

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 31: Being Overly Competitive At Things That Don’t Matter

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 30: SexintheStacks

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 29: Expensive Private Colleges (results of the “Best College for Lesbians” contest)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 28: Straight Girls

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 27: Sports Injuries (particularly ACL tears)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 26: We blog!

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 25: Tongues

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 24: Threatening to vote for John McCain if __________ doesn’t get the Democratic nomination (Updated June 10th!)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 23: Brain Games

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 22: Wellesley College (And your college? Seeking reader submissions!)

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 21: Professing to know everything about someone based on his or her star sign

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 20: Fitting in

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 19: Being friends with their exes

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 18: Being cheap to fund their food habits

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 17: Drama 2.0

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 16: Quitting the scene

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 15: Processing

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 14: Bumper Stickers

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 13: Nicknames

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 12: MARCH MAAAADNESSS

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 11: Entourages

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 10: The hand tuck!

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 9: House Parties

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 8: Craig’s List

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 7: Mourning dead or otherwise departed L Word characters

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 6: Looking down on “unenlightened lesbians”

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 5: The Post-Mullet

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 4: Mistakenly believing that they own the Angelina Jolie crush

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 3: Threatening to cancel Showtime

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 2: Telling the stupid U-Haul joke

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Lesbian Chi Ku...

All credits to Grace Chu from Grace the Spot!

Too funny.. sadly though, it's also very true!!!


Stuff Lesbians like.. No 90.. Chi Ku (aka Eating Bitterness)
There is a Chinese saying, “chi ku,” which means “eat bitterness.” The concept of eating bitterness roughly translates to: “Life sucks, so shut up, and grin and bear it.” Eating bitterness is sort of like the Protestant work ethic, except that there is no underlying expectation of personal salvation at the end of all of that diligence, restraint and suffering. Eating bitterness will not get you closer to God. You’re just supposed to eat bitterness… and then you die.

For lesbians, eating bitterness is a skill that is as essential as eating pussy. Since lesbian social circles are inexorably incestuous as lesbians insist on collecting exes as friends and are prone to developing inappropriate feelings towards their friends, plenty of opportunities to eat bitterness naturally arise in the lesbian world. The lesbian who walks into a difficult social situation, wilts and says “I can’t take it!” is a failed lesbian. Lesbians are supposed to have hearts and stomachs of steel.

Scenario

* You are at game night at your friend’s house. Your ex walks in. CHI KU!
* Your ex walks in with her new girlfriend. Both look great, and it’s that time of the month for you, so you’re breaking out. CHI KU!
* Your friend that you’ve been inappropriately crushing on walks into the room. CHI KU!
* She is with her overprotective girlfriend, who can snap your pencil neck with her pinky. CHI KU!
* After half an hour of Scrabble, you are down to your last tiles, and you only have the letters “c,” “h,” “i,” “k,” and “u.” “Chi ku” is not a valid Scrabble word. You lose. Ha ha! CHI KU!

“But wait,” you say. “No one likes eating bitterness. Not even lesbians.” Ah, young padawan… you do not know the ways of the Sapphic sisterhood. Lesbians will puff their chests out and openly brag about how well they eat bitterness, like it is some badge of honor. Like frat boys swallowing goldfish whole after taking five Jagermeister shots, lesbians will deliberately place themselves in a situation where they have to eat bitterness to appear simultaneously martyr-like and macho. Like David Blaine’s incurable compulsion to put himself in dangerous life-or-death situations for the amusement of onlookers, lesbians cannot control their desire to prove their mettle by walking into circumstances where they have to eat bitterness.

Examples:

* “Although I felt my ACL tearing, I clutched the football like it was my firstborn child, kept my eyes on the end zone and powered through the searing pain. I ended up in the emergency room, but I did not shed a tear, not even once.”
* “I saw my lying cheating ex at a club with her new snaggletoothed girlfriend. EVEN THOUGH HER NEW GIRLFRIEND IS AN UGLY SKANK AND I WANTED TO PISTOL WHIP BOTH OF THEM WITH MY BLACKBERRY, I went up to them and cordially said, ‘Hi.’”
* “I am abstaining from sex, because it builds character.”

The proper response to these declarations of successful bitterness-eating is to pat your lesbian friend on the head and say, “My what a good lesbian you are. You are so skilled at eating bitterness. In fact, your abilities have the potential of reaching legendary status. Why don’t I buy you a drink to congratulate you.” She will appreciate that you validated her superhuman ability to withstand suffering and will come away with the satisfaction that she is an advanced lesbian.

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On loop...

Another day.. another loopy song!

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On loop...

I present to you another installment of my current musical obsession. In times of sadness sometimes all it takes is a simple sunshine pop song and you have a smile on your face again.. even if it is just for the duration of the song.. every little helps.

Here's Free Design's "Love You"



In case you experience a sudden urge to sing along fear not... voilà the lyrics;

Give a little time for the child within you
Dont be afraid to be young and free
Undo the locks and throw away the keys
and take of your shoes and socks and run you

Give a little time for the child within you
Dont be afraid to be young and free
Undo the locks and throw away the keys
and take of your shoes and socks and run you

Run through the meadow and
scare up the milking cows
Run down the beach kicking clouds of sand.
Walk a windy weather day
Feel your face blow away
Stop and listen, love you.

Love like a circus clown
Put away your circus frown
Ride on a rollercoaster upside down
Waltzing Matilda, Kerry loves a kinkajou
Joey catch a kangaroo, hug you.

Dandelions, milkweed
silky in a sunny sky
Reach out and hitch a ride
and float on by
Balloons down below
blooming colors of the rainbow
Red blue and yellow green, I love you

Bicycles, tricycles, ice cream, candy
Lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks
Solomon Grundy, Raggedy Andy
Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, home free

Cowboys and Indians
Puppydogs and sandpails
Beachballs and baseballs
and basketballs too

I love forget-me-nots
Fluffernutters, sugar pops

I’ll hug you and kiss you and love you.

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my friend's reply.. and my reply to her... a loooong loooong read!

She's nailed it spot on...sometimes a mirror is all you need, no?

Hey Chicka,

I have no idea where to start with your email lol bless you. I guess the beginning would be a good start :o)

Now you can tell me to shut up and go away but im just guna give you my opinion on what i think about what you wrote, im hoping it will make sense to you because im not good with words at all and im sure im about to tell you what you already know anyway but hopefully it will help you even if its just a little bit.

Its very obvious that you are depressed, i read your emails and i just wana give you a big hug.
In my opinion i think you have lost your way abit, maybe forgot why you moved to the UK and what you have spent time studying for.

I know this whole thing with her has really been a big part of that and i wish i knew the answer of how you get over this but unfortunately i dont think there is an answer and it is just one of them things that you may never get over or on the other hand it might just click in your head one day and you will be over it.

I was suprised to hear you have spoke to her again, you had told me she had messaged you before and you told her about you extension and i remember you wrote back but she didnt reply so thats why it suprised me she wrote back again after that but i was glad to hear you got the courage to ask her outright what the deal was even tho the reply you got made me a little mad on your behalf, but saying that i was impressed you have deleted everything of hers that is a very big step and hopefully you are starting the process of getting over her.

She may have been your dream woman but trust me when i say you will find that love again and it may be even stronger. i agree with her that you do have alot to offer somebody special and it would not take long for somebody to snap you up but i know you are not ready for someone else yet and i think you need to stop putting pressure on yourself that you MUST have a gf, first thing you need to do is get 'you' back, you have had some down times and its hard to pick yourself up but you have to start enjoying your life and living each day as it comes because you dont know whats going to happen tomorrow and trying to second guess the future does nobody any good.....live for today not tomorrow is my moto.

As for your results, well im really crossing everything for you that you get the marks you hope for, you have done everything you can now and im sure it turned out better than you think you have, when is it you get the results???

He is my thoughts on what you do now, i think you have completed it at the completely wrong time with the economic crisis but what you have is a skill and if there are no jobs around right now take them low salary jobs because thats whats going to get you more experience and a foot on the ladder.

Now my thoughts on where you go.... you said you like hudds but you feel you need to get away to better yourself and yes London would be ideal as im sure there are lots of companies dealing in your field, America would be a good experience but im thinking there is only one real reason why you wana go there and if that would be worse for you because of the memories.
What i want to say to you is wherever you go your problems wont go away, if anything you should stay where you have friends untill you get back on track and get your confidence back.
You seem to me as an ambitious woman that wants to travel the word and have a bright carreer and you have to remember why you started all this in the first place, why you left your home country to move to the UK, ok it was for your then gf but what i mean is that was a big step and you decided to study here and get a degree to then move on to a good job and become a miwlionaire (like del boy) :o) so what happened to your drive for that? you cant let one girl ruin all that for you.

Let me tell you something, when i first met you on that site i didnt see us talking how we do today, ill be honest i quite fancied you (i hate that word) and i used to get really happy when we spoke and would really look forward to hearing from you, but of course id only seen erm certain bits of you and its easy to like someone online especially in them circumstances where it is fuelled by arousal as such. but then when we started talking away from that i started seeing you in a different light, i saw the deeper side of you, the real you as such and in fact what i see is a confident bright woman with alot going for herself.

What im trying to say is if you could just see the positives in things instead of getting down about all the dramas in your life you will be a stonger person for it, work towards your goals and you will go far, stop looking for that woman and she will come to you, you won me over lol thats quite an achievement as im so untrusting of every woman that comes along now, but im not trying to freak you out and i hope i havnt im just saying and have said before i think you are attractive and a great person and im happy to be your friend and also that you undeerestimate yourself to much and once your confidence is back god knows what you will be able to achive.

Right well if any of that made sense i deserve a medal lol i told you im rubbish at writing and getting my thoughts across but i hope what i did say gave you abit of food for thought, that is if you understood any of it :O)

Also please dont say sorry for not being intouch, i knew you was stressed with your diss which is why i didnt keep emailing you and bothering you and i totally understand about going into your shell because i do that to but im glad your back now and i hope we can keep chatting and hopefully i can try to help you get through your troubles.

As for me, well in a nutshell, im not much better than you, work is non existent and im trying to look for work but as you know there is nothing out there or what is there is for professionals, teachers, doctors, and i have no qualifications so im totally screwed and am at the end of my tether with it to be honest so thats really getting me down and ive done a you and have gone into my shell and dont want to see anyone or go out so its quite bad, but im sure ill be ok and ill go into it abit more another time because i think i have some inner problems i really need to deal with but ill talk to you about that another time.

Im going to leave it there as i need to get of this pc now cos i still have a headache and its hurting my eyes but i will speak to you again if you are still talking to me after that rubbish email lol and i hope your w-end got better and you had a good day today.

So big hugs to you and ill speak to you soon

Night night

So here's my reply to her...

Hey ...

sorry it's taken me so long to reply.. I've had nightmare days..in fact just even twenty minutes ago I've had another nightmare come round to me... and it makes me wonder what is the fucking point. Sorry if I'm not in the best mood but I'm really annoyed at some friend's accusation. I can understand her disappointment and stuff.. but I don't feel I'm the one to be blamed for a mess, but she seemingly makes me out as one to be blamed. As she's my closest friend besides my ex (with whom I need to talk a few things straight too, so it's not going well with her on my side) I now feel even crapper than already, which is a miracle as I frankly didn't think it could get any worse.

I sincerely hope that you didn't think me not replying had anything to do with what you wrote because quite frankly you pretty much NAILED it in your mail. With everything about me, her, finding myself, depression, etc...
Your words are true and accurate with regard to my depression, yup, it's back, and it's affecting an already low self-esteem big time, on top of the events that I've had to go through in the last 9 months well even years when I started to come more or less clean about myself, which was in the third quarter of 2006) Sory I digress.. my mind is all over the place.
Yes, you do express yourself in a differernt way, and our educational background will have played a part in that. But honestly I don't care! Your words are poignant and come from the heart, I can tell. So if you do use fancy language or not doesn't matter. In fact I think your way of saying things is much better as it goes straight to the point rather than some fancy crap, no beating around the bush.. which is probably best for me anyway. My counsellor has always been adamant that she never gives me advice as such.. she merely acts as a mirror.. and relays back what I've come up with.. and that's hard.. but best. After all I'm the one with the answers, not her. And the same I find here with you.. Your frankness ( or as you probably put it, your lack of expressing yourself in a different/fancy way) is much better suited, as it acts like a mirror again. I do value it.. so don't you start some flowery rubbish on me now ;D

Anyhow.. some more info for you what's been going on then.. On Friday I got the worst news I could have had... and this will hopefully get my down of your high horse of yours ... cos my tutor emailed me about my diss... I failed. Yes, you read correctly.. in fact it' s the first time I'm typing the f-word out here (and that's not the Gordon Ramsey F-word !).
That is a blow I am not sure how and when to recover from. It has shattered virtually the minuscule little self-esteem that there was left. To add insult to injury (in my eyes) the fail is not down to the content (which is, I quote, sound (not brill obviously)), but to some technical considerations, which translates as problems with my referencing. What ever that means. My tutor has been coy with details.. I am still waiting for a proper feedback, but for that my work needs to be sent back from the external examiner (the marking process involves my tutor, another one from my school, then an external examiner from a different uni to verify the other two's mark). I have yet to hear from Ian (tutor). The good news as Ian puts it, but not in my eyes, the work can be re-submitted.. but the mark I can get for that is just a measly "pass". Right now obviously I haven't even reached that basic level.

The implications for me on this are as follows:
a) I've failed the most vital part of my course
b) The hard work I put into the course right before the diss feels now nullified as my overall mark is heavily affected.. I was on 72% before the diss (which meatn a first, or in postgrad studies a distinction as there's no degree classification), and with the max of a pass that I can attain after re-submission it'll drop down to (what I perceive as insignificant) around 60%.
c) my confidence and self-esteem have plummeted from -100 to -infinite, making what I already struggle with (i.e. trying to sell myself in an economic crisis) even harder. In fact I've lost the will to..which don't help of course, I'm perfectly aware of it.
d) I have yet to tell my parents.. which will be just as hard as accepting failure for myself (having let myself down, again not using my full potential, etc). I'm trying to see that they will be more disappointed for me than in me.. but somehow that conclusion goes further and further the more I think about it. I've always achieved, and usually ok to well. so their talk of "of course you'll pass, with flying flags, we have full confidence in you" is really hard to swallow now and tell them the truth.
e) I'm pretty puzzled as to how my referencing can affect the mark so heavily as in the past I have prided myself on the very fact I was doing a good job there. It's never been criticised in my other works before, in fact the opposite at some points. So I'm left to be confused even more.

So there.. that's a lot of stuff there, going on for me right now.
As I mentioned, it does affect my current steps for the future pretty heavily.
For me, having at least a good degree was supposed to overcome the lack of experience in the industry.. acting like a spring board to sell me (and I didn't even have confidence in the product, ie me, before) with a piece of paper proving it, being on a par with my peers/competitors who all have done (very)well. Right now I've done worse than the lowlives of my course..and I feel worse than people who are half capable than me.. a very bitter pill to swallow.
I have spoken to my close friend Cathy, whith whom I'm having the aforementioned problems right now, and with my ex.. and they tried to console me and pointed out to be less harsh on myself there (as did Jo, my counsellor to whom I spoke on TUE about all this). But right now I'm pretty inconsolable. The amount of stress this diss caused me.. and the fact that it took me so long i all nullified as I'll have to do i again. I don't know yet to what degree (depends on teh feedback I will receive on my work).. but I quite frankly can't face doing this again. Not even remotely. On top.. I may not graduate at the same time with my peers, which is not the worst thing at all, it would be sad, but not the end of the world.. but it affects my parents who have I think already booked flights for that occasion to come over. Yes, I'm dreading telling them.. but I have no choice not to, besides I can't lie them in the face anyways, after all their support (financial) for this course. That would cause me too much guilt.

As for my ex.. well I mentioned that to you that I struggle to see her with her new GF.. as it basically reminds me of what I didn't have with her but so deperately wanted. And how it now makes me feel used to the degree that when things went wrong the thank you for the good times was actually the being dumped when the first problems arose, and she's now matured through me, leaving me behind a mess.
Lately I've noticed that I miss her as the friend she was before her GF came over to live with her.. whenever I see her they are always together and it's hard to have time with just her. Don't get me wrong, I've stopped resenting her GF a long time ago, but I want my friend back. I have a sneaky feeling she doesn't know how to put us two into one hat... when ever I get a call from her she's on her way home from work.. takes her less than ten minutes on the car. So not much time to talk some proper talk..heart to heart... and as soon as she arrives at home she sort of finsihes the call, as if she didn't want to get into her flat (with the GF there) ton the phone with me for her GF to notice.
Now the latter bit there is something I'v only noticed recently.. but I haven't had a chance to talk to her about that yet..I know the whole situation is tricky because her GF did play part in the breakup.. it's all complicated.. but I'm left feeling I'm loosing the closest person I have. Well.. her turning her back on me to a degree. And that feeling is crap since I trust so very few people, and one of them is soon longer going to be there for me with her support (i.e. my counsellor). Again I feel I have only myself to turn to in the hardest times.. and that at a tiem when my energy and confidence in my self are rock bottom.
I hope I don't sound like a pile of self pity there.. despite me being so low I feel I am still pretty realistic.. I value your frankness so if you think I'm drifting into the pity party corner feel free to give me a frank talk.. I appreciate it more than fancy pish pash!

Now.. I remember I smiled when I read the bit about you telling me you fancied me...... or my bits.. or both.. lol...or shall I say crushed on me since you don't like the word fancy.. I actually quite fancy the word fancy, lol.
I'm flattered, seriously.. and I can perfectly understand where you are coming from (i.e. feelign or somebody having met under the circumstances we did..). I think the problem with the net is basically that it does allow one to build an image of a person to the degree it may becaome an infatuation. It's an infatuation that can easily be fuelled but the other party, one is in control of what to give the other.. just enough to keep it going, just enough not destroy a perfect image. Letting the real you shine is much harder too, whichof course sounds contradictory, but that's the advantage of the net of course. You can be you, without fearing repercussions. After all, it's just at the touch of a click and the contact can cease. Or be revived. Which ever is desired. But the danger of such a quick infatuation with somebody, well I've been there, obviously! Didn't help she fuelled it so much.. and I still believe she was on the same road to begin with.. and then took a different turn to me, only she didn't tell me and I found out when I looked and she had vanished from my side. Ok.. getting metaphorical again.. and talking about her doesn't help too much... rambling.. my bad habbit. I have obviously a lot to tell, ha ha.

Anyhow.. I'm glad you value our friendship in the way you do.. and I've never felt stalked or creeped or what have you, lol.. I think you'd by now noticed if I had I wouldn't be writing essays back to you, lol. We may be quite oposite people in the way we are, but sometimes that is not a bad thing :) I guess it helped to deepen what was there in the first place.

Now on to you.. since I have this habbit to talk about myself for hours!
I'm sorry to hear that the situation is really getting worse there.. you've invested so much into your business it must be heartbreaking to see it go down the drains. In fact it must be more than heartbreaking since it's existential too. I really hope for a better turn.. but I don't really have any advice ;(
As for retreating into a shell.. I totally understand (obviously)... but I'm glad you seem not to have lost too much optimism..and feel confident enough not to give up.
As for those inner problems you have mentioned.. feel free to talk to me when you are ready.. no pressure, ok. I'd feel honoured if you trust me enough but there's no obligation. We all have chips on our shoulders.. some people have acknowledged them, some dont. Some have a bigger one than others.. and some are more visible than others. But we all do have them.. and those who acknowledge and deal with them are probably doing better then those who don't.

Big hug back to you... thanks for your reading eyes.. I ought to send you some paracetamol for those headaches, they must be caused by all those essays I write, keeping you staring on the screen for hours, lol.
I'm going to check my other email now.. there's a new one sitting in there.. and I have an incling it's my friend replying to my frank words (the blame and stuff I mentioned at the start). I better brace myself. And then i'll double check my uni mail to see if there's finally some more feedback on my diss.. so it's going to be a tough day.. on top it's all sunny here, adding insult to injury, ha.. oh well.. if it was raining I'd have said how fitting the grey clouds and stuff would be for the current situation.. so can't please me either way, pfft.

Anyhow.. well done for making it this far.
Best wishes for you down south... hugs again!!

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Another try..

I'm still trying to get the hang of mobile blogging..it seems that for SE phones the easiest way is adding a pic..so voila, I present you with a new addition of me..enjoy

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