Questions...

I know they will remain unanswered...in fact their purpose is useless, still they won't go away...

How can you fall in love with somebody you never met face to face... how can that person remain on your mind despite what happened... why do I have a tendency to masochism when I already had enough hurt... does she know it still hurts... the more I want her to go the more she occupies my mind... how can you miss somebody who hurt you...and still, I miss you..the connection I felt with you, something so precious yet so rare, which makes the parting and letting go so vrey difficult... why can the brain control the heart.. it just doesn't make sense, is completely irrational.

I'm sad I lost you... I don't think you know how much though... which makes me even more sad..

I would have given a lot to give it a try at least... it was worth that much to me

Never run when you have just had the plaster taken off both your legs and started to stand back on your own two feet... you're bound to fall and be hurt... but the feeling of being able to run again, feel the rush of adrenaline and the emotions were too breathtaking... and you were too irresistable... like a moth needing the fire, the temptation was too big, and the inevitable happened.. I got hurt and burnt. The scars will be with me...joining the others. Will I ever learn?

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Ben Hur

Ben Hur is on...and I just have to have it on in the background.
I still remember when I was younger, much younger, maybe 7 or 8 I saw parts of it for the first time..and started developing a love for those sword and sandal films...including Jesus,lol. But it left a lasting impression somehow. THe film is just fantastic, and considering when it was shot, i.e. in the Fifties and breaking every budget and record there was, it is still an absolute classic!

Fast forward years, no decades, and I saw a documentary on LGB films in Hollywood, The Celluloid Closet (must see!), and surprise surprise there's a strong homosexual subcontext in Ben Hur.. clearly I had a gay incling from a very early age it seems! Queer through and through :)

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Hot or hot?

Clearly..the answer is hot! See for yourself:



Esther Anderson from Australia's soap "Home & Away"

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Disturbing

Just finished watching Naboer (2005)...so creepy and dark. The film grows the longer you watch it, but it is very disturbing and during the scenes depicting sexual violence I just squirmed.

Kudos to the actors, very well played, but let's just hope this film is not depicting any sort of reality (of course it is, let's just cling on to the hope though). THe soundtrack works extremely well to colour the atmosphere of obsession, insanity and darkness.

I do recommend watching it.. but maybe not at night.. on your own... you'll never look at your neighbours the same way, for sure!

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Aawww...

Handsome, no? ;)

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Birthday

Yeah..fun times:)

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Attempt no 2

So..the 1st attempt was successful..and having merged the mobile blog to my existing one this should go straight (ha ha the pun) to the 411 :)

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Trying out the mobile blogging function

Well well..attempt no 1.. We'll see where it'll end up :)

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Cavities...

I'm only one minute into this.. but oh boy are they adorable and sweet... it just gives you cavities...le sigh... they just are the über-lesbian-idol couple of all time... let us pray they remain a couple for ever...they could do for lesbian visibility what Obama may do to change that image of the USA... something that seems actually rather oxymoronic, ha ha!

Interview about shoes and traveling
Hochgeladen von chinesedaughter

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Capturing the mood...

This one always captures my mood so well...most approrpiate lyrics! Funny how it was the first song of hers I heard..and it drew me to her straight away, without even knowing what she was even singing about. And to this day it still is my favourite song of hers.

Clearly I have a sombre side to me!

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Glad...

to have you back in my life.. I misssed you. It took a long time, and soembody else's presence helped to speed up the process...just wanted to say that I'm glad you're back in my life...not in the same way anymore obviously, but in a different way...maybe an even better way.

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So...

I'm back then.. earlier than expected..but then a) I'm as per usual dependent on others to give me a lift and b) apparently Tod starts at 8ish and thus finishes early, say 1ish.

It was better than expected, although I suppose the L Word has manifested itself as a surreal world that may only remotely as such exist in LA, certainly not in Tod. But I was there to forget, to have fun and dance my heart out, which at times (music permitting) I did.

But then... still.. I couldn't stop thinking... probably being asked by R and S a few times if I had seen anybody I'd fancied made me even more aware... well.. Cat popped back into my mind too many times. Some of the music titles being played I just know she would have enjoyed so much.. and having had her there would have probably made me just loose it anyway. I still wonder why she comes to my mind so often... actually I think I know the answer..who am I kidding... because I did love her.. and because there is still no kind of closure. The way things ended were just.. well they were just not. And it doesn't help that I am very aware it is her birthday today on the 15th.
She seemed too perfect...looks and personality wise...yet I still think it is a real loss and shame we never had the chance to give it a go. I will never know what could have been...and I guess that bugs me.

After all .. I still miss you.. we would have had a blast... just magnify what was and you get something that would go beyond a mind's capacity.

The nice person I am.. or should I say the maso person I am... will write to you...and wish you a nice birthday. I still feel obliged to write back to you, returning your feedback comment. It puzzles me though.. you seem to care, but then you didn't.. and then you do again, and then you don't. I guess that doesn't help with closure...

You stepped into my life...from one day to another... and the ride we had was literally breathtaking... and as quickly as you came you went..when I was still somehow thinking I was on that rollercoaster...but you had stepped out of it a few stops before...just that I didn't realise.

C'est la vie... they say.... times heals and helps...they say... it's true... just the in between sucks.. big time.

I hope you're doing well though..and I hope you don't regret..neither me, nor what/who came after me, even though it feels to me that it goes against everything you told me. Go and live the life you deserve...be happy and content.. I seek the same for myself.. shame it wasn't to be with you though.. a real shame though.... goodbye to you, who never was and never will be...

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On loop...

Since I have a slight OCD tendency it should come as no surprise that certain songs are played on loop until I can't stand them anymore. Therefore I present to you this irregular column of "On the loop"...where I shall share with you my current obsession.

Michelle: "Boobs 'n brains"

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Intrigued

So then...if all goes to plan then I should be out partying tonight..the "legendary" Tod Disco. I fear the worst (which is just me, the pessimist, worrier, scpeiticist..the list is endless). Let's see if my worst imaginations will be coming true, i.e. redical feminists in dungarees, Birkenstocks hoping throught the landscape to celebrate mensturating together whilst listening to folk music and women songwriters... I am hoping for at leasst some danceable music...but I doubt they'll be playing Kate Perry's "I kissed a girl" .. that would probably constitute the worst form of blasphemy... I stand corrected!

In the mean time let's see if I can post this catchy tune on here...I totally blame Natazzz! Cross those fingers and toes that I shall get some boobs 'n brains tonight...ha ha ha!

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like a sheep...

the human being has this tendency to be like a sheep..follow the herd, i.e. the masses..and I duly oblige..

hello blogging world..it's me, frosch411

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